


Pilot [the getting the commandments right remix]

by seekingferret



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Collection: Purimgifts Day 1, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-06
Updated: 2013-02-06
Packaged: 2017-11-28 10:44:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/673507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seekingferret/pseuds/seekingferret





	Pilot [the getting the commandments right remix]

**Author's Note:**

  * For [elrhiarhodan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elrhiarhodan/gifts).



Then John Van Dyke decided that he was going to throw gasoline on the fire. He asked, "I’d like to discuss why we hear so much talk about the First Amendment coming out of this building, but no talk at all about the First Commandment," and Toby wanted to ask him whether he had any more quips like that ready to go. "Why do we hear so much about the American League and so little about American ideals?" or "Why do we hear so much about the White House and so little about the Housing Projects?" But he was too busy being pissed about Mary Marsh's anti-semitic slur, so he stayed quiet.

"I don’t like what I’ve just been accused of," she said. Her voice hardened, as if suddenly the conversation had taken a turn she hadn't anticipated. Good. He could swallow Josh's bullshit apology. He could swallow this godawful meeting. But he could not swallow her nonsense about their New York sense of humor. Most days Andie had told him he didn't have any sense of humor, let alone a Jewish one.

"I'm afraid that's just tough, Mrs. Marsh" Toby all-but-snarled at her, before remembering himself and trying to put a polite finish on it. 

"The First Commandment says "Honor thy Father"," Van Dyke put in, because the idiot didn't seem capable of hearing any voices that weren't his own, and he was determined to make sure that people heard him. But really, this was enough. They steal our commandments, they ought to fucking get them right.

"No, it doesn't," he said, snapping at last. Josh tried to stop him but he talked right over him. "It doesn't." Josh tried to interupt again. "No, if I’m gonna make you sit through this preposterous exercise, we’re gonna get the names of the damn commandments right."

Marsh rolled her eyes. "Okay. Here we go." She probably didn't know the commandments any better than Van Dyke.

"Honor thy Father and Mother is the..." He paused for a moment to make sure he got this right. "... the Fifth Commandment."

["It's the Fourth Commandment if you're Catholic," C.J. wanted to add, but she was too busy staring agog at the clusterfuck.]

Somehow Toby's voice penetrated deep enough into Van Dyke's thick skull to make him register that someone was contradicting him. "Then what's the First Commandment?" he blustered.

And that's when the voice of God entered the room.


End file.
